Wednesday, May 18, 2011

"Epiphany"

I had an epiphany today. It is, that if I slow down just a little, I will feel less overwhelmed, less stressed, and more happy, more stable, and even more faithful about my future. Why did this epiphany come now? Because I'm a mother and a working mother and I was trying so hard to keep up my usual pace of life, but I realized that it is impossible when you have a baby and no nanny, and still trying to work at the same time.

I was thinking about all the other working moms in the world and thinking "How do they do it?" After talking to other moms, I realized that they all work, but they all have a nanny as well to help out. It is impossible to work and be a well-functioning, present mother as well for your child without extra help or a nanny. Something needs to be sacrificed. The last thing you want to sacrifice is your child's happiness and care.

So I decided to slow down a bit. Slowing down moreso in my mind, than in my actions. By doing that, I was able to be more present for my daughter, feel happier in my heart, and feel like I am really revelling in each moment by moment in my life. Slowing down a little actually increased my faith. I actually know and believe that everything will be done in due time. I will get my first book published. I will find time to write. I will be able to work in my book and get it done because I believe in it so much. And I believe in myself.

Slowing down a little allowed me to catch happy moments with my daughter that I might normally miss. Slowing down allowed me to make sure that each day, I made sure I smiled at my daughter, and was happy to see her, so that she knew how much she was loved. That love will go far in shaping who she is and her self-esteem as a little girl. That love will fill her up and provide a strong foundation for her when she becomes an adult in the world and is on her own.

Sometimes I feel like I should do more. I should work more, work harder, do more, do it longer. Recently, I was named a recipient of the 2011 Outstanding 50 Asian Americans in Business Award and a nominee for the 2011 Los Angeles Business Journal's Women Making a Difference Award. Amazing I say....I am so honored and humbled by the award and nomination. It only fueled my desire to do more, keep working hard, keep writing, get my self-help book on attracting love published. Truth is, I realized that these awards are just signs from the universe that I'm on the right track. I'm going in the right direction. I should be sharing what I know and whatever wisdom I've acquired along the way to help others, and keep doing that.

So I'm happy for these experiences. I'm happy that I'm being challenged in y life and in the workplace. I'm happy for the challenges being a mom and trying to keep up with my active child and adjusting to parenthood. I'm happy for all of it. And I'm happy that I can keep my eye on the prize and keep the faith even though I've slowed down a bit. Just because i've slowed down doesn't mean I've lost my touch or lost my mojo. My mojo is still there. I've just got to work harder to light the spark in it again. Or best case scenario, the other alternative is to just surrender to God and let things happen.

I think all of us could slow down once in a while. You don't need a child to do that and you don't need a nanny. You just need to be mindful of slowing down once in awhile so you can savor life. Savor all its subtleties and nuances, and don't miss a beat and don't miss a thing. Slow down so you don't regret anything in life. Slow down so you can sift through it all and watch what happens.

Now go do it. Haha! Slow down.......